I honestly didn't plan on writing this post...

Usually before I write a blog post I know I'm going to write it. This time is different. I had no intentions of writing a post informing you all that the transfer was unsuccessful. I was so sure and confident that this was going to work. I just knew it. I'm sad to report, that it did not. Please keep our friends and their family in your prayers. My heart breaks with theirs. I know God has His hand in this situation. But it's still tough news to hear. 

Consuming

Since this journey has started, I have been consuming either orally or by injections just a few things. I was reading a surrogacy blog the other day and the lady mentioned that she did a cleanse type thing before her transfer date.  I knew Nicole has a friend who would have valuable information on this so I asked if she wanted to find out if there was anything I should be doing or taking to aide in this process.  She suggested going in the direction of a paleo diet, taking cod liver oil, probiotics, eating protein every two hours and trying out  sour kraut and/or kombucha in place of one of the probiotics each day.  I had to make sure that the cod liver oil was a capsul because if you know me at all, you know I don't eat anything that lives in the water!  Nicole reassured me that it was a supplement.  Thank goodness!  I'm willing to take supplements and even told her I would try the sour kraut and kombucha, but I wasn't making any promises. Sweet Nicole made a special delivery to me last week so I could do a taste test.   I tried both the kumbucha and sour kraut and failed miserably.  We even took a video to get my reaction. Let's just say I will be sticking to the probiotics.  All of this had me thinking about all the stuff I have been taking to prepare for this little baby!  It's kinda crazy!  I will do what I can, within my means, to make this work. Man, I want this to work!

A peak at my delivery from last week.

And the injection kit!

And, a look at my sharps container so far!

Here's a list of things I have been taking and what they are for. I've learned so much already through this process! 

Birth Control Pills (Daily for six weeks, done with that now) these were taken to regulate my cycle.
Antibiotics (7 days-Check)
6 prenatal vitamins (Daily)
Lupron Injections (in my stomach administered by me, daily) Lupron basically shuts down my hormonal system and puts everything to sleep so that the Dr can take over.  Graduated from this last night!
Estrogen Injections (twice a week administered by the lovely Tina and Betty) Estrogen fluffs everything back up and prepares my body to accept the embryo.
Cod liver oil (twice a day) Great for inflamation
Probiotics (twice a day) Starting today.  Nervous because this one is supposedly the worst!
Baby Aspirin (Daily)

 I still seem to be tolerating all of this pretty well. Some close to me may say I am a little more sensitive than normal (who knew that was possible?) :) Tears have snuck up on me unexpectedly, for example, during a wounded vet commercial, in the middle of Hobby Lobby reading a Bible verse, at a parent meeting at the school last night when someone mentioned limited space for reading groups, at my Dr.'s appointment on Monday when Macie told the doctor that Jesus lives in her heart...Other than that,  I've had a couple of headaches here and there but that's about it. The injections aren't painful and things really just seem to be moving right along! 

Thank you for your support. Your prayers. Your encouragement. Thank you to those who have checked in on me. I know this is a new process for most of us and not something you see or hear about every day. It's so exciting to me and I love to talk about it so don't be shy. :)  I am looking forward to the next couple of weeks and praying that God is going to be glorified in this process.

Introduction Time

I guess I should maybe make some introductions. My name is Tiesha. I have been married to my high school sweetheart, Russell,for 15 years. We have four children of our own. We will call them by their first initials for now. Oldest to youngest we have M-13, L-8, T-6 and little M-3. Our friends we are helping are Chris and Nicole. They have been married for 13 years. They have two daughters- M-10 and L-5.  Nicole and Chris are supportive of this blog and are ok with me using their first names and their girls initials. Stay tuned as there may even be a guest post by Nicole soon.  

A rare and exciting opportunity!

Did my blog name give it away? The title? Are you confused? Read on for some exciting things coming up in 2015! 

December 15,2014

Tomorrow is the day. The day this journey officially, technically begins. In my heart it started months ago. Well sort of. And it also started years ago. Let me explain a little. For several years, in my head, to Russell, and a few close friends, I have played with the idea of being a surrogate. Struggling with infertility myself for a total of 4.5 years, I've always had a compassion toward women who struggle in the same way. Though I have four children now, getting pregnant wasn't always an easy task to achieve. My hearts desire was to have four children. There was a time in my life when I was faced with the reality that that desire may not be fulfilled.  Many tears were shed by the thought that my dreams and desire for a big family would not come true. I believe going through that journey gave me a great sense of compassion for women who struggle with infertility. Over the years I have mentioned the desire of becoming a surrogate. Russell was never too keen on the idea and honestly, I never would have sought out becoming one. I never would have joined an agency or anything like that. 

But then. Not so coincidentally, in my opinion, an opportunity presented itself to me. I truly, wholeheartedly, believe this has been a God process. An plan He has His hand in. An opportunity that could change the lives of a lovely family forever. 💜

Rewind to September. September 19, 2014 to be exact. I had sent a friend a text and she mentioned that she had planned on calling me the same day because she wanted to talk to me. So she did. Her intent to call me was that she wanted to let me know about some mutual friends who were interested in finding a gestational carrier. They have two daughters of their own but just cannot seem to be able to carry a baby to term again on their own. They would love to find a surrogate by word of mouth and weren't necessarily interested in using an agency. So she was just hoping to get the word out in case I knew of anyone who might be interested. As my friend is describing all of this to me, my head in spinning, my wheels are turning and this feeling of excitement and joy at the possibilities were overwhelming. This friend and I have actually had conversations in the past about me wanting to do this. She remembered those conversations but wasn't sure how serious I was. I told her that if Russell were on board with the idea, I would do it in a heartbeat.  I have fairly easy pregnancies and quick labor and deliveries.  We chatted awhile longer then decided we would chat more later. 

Russell, of course, was up at the academy so I knew I wouldn't be able to get a response from him. So I just sent him a text saying something like, "remember our conversations about me being a surrogate, think about that."  That whole afternoon I just kept praying that God would lead Russell to lead me. That, if this was what He wanted me to do, then Russell would be on board with the idea. And if God didn't want me to pursue this opportunity, then R would have major reservations and I would drop the idea. There's no way I would have pressed the issue if he wasn't on board with it. 

Russell called me that evening on his way home. We talked on the phone that evening and to my delighted surprise he was supportive and excited to pursue this opportunity as well. 

So since September until now, we have had several conversations with each other, family and a few close friends, my doctor, the fertility doctor and with our friends (the intended parents).    Everything is falling into place and confirming our decision to move forward with this process. January is our goal for the transfer to take place. From very early on in this process I just keep imagining getting to see the parents hold their sweet baby that they have dreamed of for so long. It brings me to tears of joy when I think about how beautifully this could all turn out.

December 22, 2014

It's been a week since I started that post up there^^ so the appointment that was "tomorrow" was to do a trial transfer and hysterscopy. Both procedures went great  everything looked beautiful for a hospitable environment for the transfer to take place in January like we had planned. 

December 29, 2014

And now it's been another week. I've been doing injections for 2.5 weeks now. Lupron daily and estrodial twice a week. I have to admit I was nervous as to how I would feel on these. Would I be crazy? An emotional wreck? Irritable? Grumpy?  I was a little nervous. I'm happy to report the side effects have been mild. A couple of headaches. A little more tired than normal. And some random tears shed (like while watching high school musical the other night, haha!). Other than that I haven't noticed anything major. 

We have told the kids and they are excited for this process. The older three understand that this won't be our baby. They know this will be our friends baby that I will carry for them. I will be carrying for them. Not my eggs. Not my baby. Their baby. Im just going to be the nine month baby hotel. 😊 I'm not so sure our youngest quite gets what is going to happen and for now that's ok. L wanted to know if I had to eat the baby to get it in my tummy. So funny! 

January 1, 2015

I had an appointment on Monday  and everything showed that the injections are working and we are right on track for our scheduled transfer date. 

I've been on the fence trying to decide if I would blog this publicly or just for our records and if I would share the blog before we actually transfer or wait to see if it works. But I've come to the conclusion that I will post and share now. Because how awesome it would be to have lots of people praying for us through this process. So I'm going to post. Soon. I think I've covered most everything. 

Stay tuned for updates! Positive thoughts and prayers appreciated!  💜